"I want to do a project where I would personally go on the streets and start cleaning it up," she said. After I left Bhagwan, everything I do is my baby. Before Sheela's trial, Knapp told the FBI, "Whenever Sheela said something, everyone accepted that she was speaking on behalf of Bhagwan." Today, Sheela runs two residential homes for disabled people, near Basel in northwest Switzerland. There were no specific instances which escalated matters but it kept building up till I reached a stage where I decided to go on my own. And now, Sheela is independent and thriving in Switzerland, practicing Oshos way of communal living through her work. This angered Osho (Rajneesh), who broke the vow of silence and accused her of several crimes, which turned out to be true. It is approaching tea time. The commune soon came into conflict with locals who were against the development of the ranch and the alternative lifestyle of red-clad Rajneesh disciples. Sheela served 38 months of a 20-year jail sentence for attempted murder of Commissioner Matthew and Judge Hulse. It was my honour to be living close with men like Bhagwan. Sheela received a sentence of 59 years total in prison for her charges but was later released after serving less than three years. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. After Oshos death, she shared her experiences with her guru in a memoir that was originally written in German and was later translated into English. Later on, she rented a house and took in six elderly disabled patients in 1990. In my bedroom, there are still a few pictures of Bhagwan. Chopra Jonas will take on the role of Sheela as well as act as a producer on the film. It is the love of my parents that I have received that must be shared with people, she revealed in an interview with Vogue. We are known for dealing with difficult patients who have not found a place in other institutes due to their handicap. I believe in being here for my people, [the people] where I live, my [nursing home] residents, my family. I am happy with both my legacies: with and without Bhagwan., More: SWI swissinfo.ch certified by the Journalism Trust Initiative. Would she recommend marriage to younger generations? Interest clearly remains high. After his death in 1980, she married her second husband, American John Joseph Shelfer. He defended Tonya Harding in the Nancy Kerrigan case, and then-Mayor Sam Adams during the Beau Breedlove scandal. In fact, in Searching for Sheela, she says he was in love with her too. That experience, combined with her time in Rajneeshpuram, convinced her that her true calling was looking after others. I started writing on my flight back from Switzerland. I knew that Bhagwan was a vengeful man, so I decided to go along with everything I was accused of.". Reportedly, her first husband was Harris Silverman, an American citizen. After escaping imprisonment for her crimes, the 69-year-old now lives in Switzerland managing a nursing home. After Shelfer died, she married Urs Birnstiel, a Swiss Citizen who eventually died of AIDS in 1992. Inspired by her parents . Meanwhile, Karan Johar is also producing a new documentary based on her life. Now we have to move on.. Report a problem? I am then ushered into the office, which is unlike any I have ever seen. In her memoirs, By My Own Rules , Ma Anand Sheela bares all-her life, her lessons, her . All rights reserved. Does she feel that her homes for the disabled are her lifes work as opposed to Rajneeshpuram where she was merely an instrument to realise Rajneeshs vision? Sheela today runs two nursing homes in Switzerland. In 1981, he appointed India-born Sheela as his secretary and she was tasked with finding a new location for the commune in order to expand. Feel free to change the random generated username. Though she's welcoming, there's something distant about her. Ma Anand Sheela was sentenced to prison for 20 years for the convicted charges and was on parole for 39 months in 1986. Book Specification Item Code: UAO132 Author: Anand Sheela Publisher: Penguin Random House India Pvt. Ma Anand Sheela . Netflixs newdocumentarySearching for Sheela follows Ma Anand Sheelas return to India after decades for an interview tour. The accusations resulted in her spending 39 months behind bars. Actor Neha Dhupia recently had a fireside chat with Ma Anand Sheela, on the sidelines of the 11th edition of the TiEcon event in Mumbai. She was the constant backdrop to the sanyasis stories of the bygone Orange Era. She had named her two homes for the disabled Matrusaden (mothers home) and Bapusaden (fathers home) in honour of their memory. I assume it is Sheelas former guru, Rajneesh, but on closer inspection realise I am wrong. Just as Im about to pet the horses, I hear my name being called. Almost three decades later, she is still in love with Bhagwan and his teachings. Fireworks Ensued. He also claimed she had stolen $55 million from the commune. Ma Anand Sheela and her husband Marc Harris Silverman purchased 64000 acres of land in Oregon (US) to establish a recreation center called Chidvilas Rajneesh Meditation Center for Rajneesh devotees to propagate his philosophy to the western world. Holding on to the teachings she picked up over the years, she aims to spend her life in service and now runs two nursing homes:Matrusaden (mothers home) and Bapusaden (fathers home), both of which offer shelter for the elderly suffering with mental illnesses. During the said conversation, Sheela also stated that she wants to initiate a cleanliness drive in India. Actor Neha Dhupia recently had a fireside chat with Ma Anand Sheela, on the sidelines of the 11th edition of the TiEcon event in Mumbai. Please join us! Copyright 2023, THG PUBLISHING PVT LTD. or its affiliated companies. A ranch in Oregon in the US was purchased for close to $6 million and was renamed as Rajneeshpuram. The one aspect of Sheelas story that has never wavered, though, is that she was in love with Osho. She was born in 1949 in Baroda, Gujarat. Rain Mans Barry Levinson is set to direct Nick Yarboroughs script. Her interviews are central to the Netflix documentary series Wild Wild Countryand she's now giving more. He had a major influence on my life's experience which in turn influences my work, she says. In those days, there were no educational qualification requirements. Ma Anand Sheela runs two nursing homes in Switzerland. In the fall of 1985, days after Sheela fled to Europe, Rajneesh accused her of arson, wiretapping, poisoning, and attempted murder, adding that she was the one who wrote the book Rajneeshism and published it under his name. Thats why I can not redeem myself. In other words, she implies that she is not guilty of the charges she was accused and convicted of, and there is no redemption needed because she has already served time and paid all her dues. 2023 Variety Media, LLC. I called him my caveman, because if he saw me he would grab me, throw me over his shoulder and run away with me," she says, leaning back and shaking with laughter. It's surprising how dumb people could be some of them had doctorates. He asked me if I was the same Rajneeshpuram Sheela and when I confirmed his hunch he changed his article from senior homes to me. Earlier, she denied the allegations and said that money must have been spent on Bhagwans luxurious lifestyle. My father was articulate. And I have done my best to create a neat melange of Mas words and experiences and things as they happened. From discussions with Karan Johar on her much-talked-about relationship with Osho, to a conversation with Barkha Dutt on the aftermath of being abandoned by Bhagwan, the now public snippets of Searching for Sheela take watchers deeper into the world we first learnt of in Wild Wild Country, with a strong spotlight on the woman who stood by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh from 1981 through 1985. 7. She is not pleased to see me. Sheela, the controversial former personal secretary of mysterious godman Bhagwan Rajneesh (Osho), talked about working with him, her life lessons, and managing her nursing homes in Switzerland, where she now resides. I had to carry out the role, no matter what. Your web browser is outdated. The authorities subsequently searched her home and found incriminating evidence linking her to the bacteria and the wiretapping, resulting in a warrant against her. In the Netflix documentary, Rajneeshpuram's neighbours constantly refer to the Oregon commune as a sex cult. This content was published on Oct 25, 2016 Join our discussions. The fact that her cover was blown did not bother her since she has never shied away from her past. . In 1986, she was convicted for attempted murder and assault for her role in the 1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attack . After parting ways with Bhagwan Rajneesh, the FBI conducted an investigation for months and confiscated hundreds of tapes and cassettes. Im struck by how frail she looks but that is because the photos and videos I had seen were taken decades ago. Ma Anand Sheela appeared in Netflixs Wild Wild Country documentary which was released in 2018 and Youtube Channel BBC stories published a video named Wild Wild Country: What happened to Sheela? Marc Harris Silverman was 21 years of age when he met Ma Anand Sheela and suffered from lymphoma disease. Ma Anand Sheela later confirmed that she also found Alia Bhatt suited to play her on-screen, saying, I feel she has the spunk in her that I had., 7 music documentaries streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime Video, 12 series and documentaries on Netflix, Disney+ Hotstar and Prime Video that bring you closer to wildlife, 6 award-winning documentary shorts that you can watch on Amazon Prime Video and more, Ahead of the release of her upcoming Netflix documentary, Kim Kardashian takes a daring page from Carmen Electras playbook, Exclusive: Gauri Khan gives Vogue a never-seen-before peek inside her home, Mannat, Rani Mukerji styled her Sabyasachi sari with the tiniest handbag you have ever seen, Ma Anand Sheela opens up about her relationship with Osho in an interview with Karan Johar, Ma Anand Sheela opens up on her documentary Wild, Wild Country, relationships and marriage, Priyanka Chopra to play Ma Anand Sheela in her next Hollywood film, Wild Wild Country creators on what it was like interviewing Ma Anand Sheela. (Multnomah County Archives). One by one they introduced themselves and shook my hand. I was still in shock due to my past life and was adjusting to a new environment. So now, if youre curious to know more about her, including her current whereabouts, weve got the details for you. The computers and desks used for admin work are surrounded by beds for patients. Twenty years ago, two Swiss villages were the scene of the mass deaths of 48 members of the esoteric Order of the Solar Temple cult. After being released from prison, she moved to Switzerland, where she runs two nursing homes. The youngest is 42 and the oldest 83. If you want to start a conversation about a topic raised in this article or want to report factual errors, email us at english@swissinfo.ch. Sheela, who turn 50 on Tuesday, has been in Switzerland since late 1988, when she was released from federal prison after serving 29 months for assault, attempted murder, arson, wiretapping and causing a food poisoning epidemic in The Dalles that made about 750 people ill. Now as a caretaker for the disabled, the antihero of Netflix's hit documentary claims that everything she did was for the sake of the commune. The downtown Portland disco, as WW later observed, "featured a hot scene and lousy service, since it was staffed by sannyasins who'd never waited tables in their lives." Within the subsequent four years, in 1985, though, what she described as mutual love between her and Osho turned into a problem. In 1996, after Osho's death, Ma Anand Sheela shared her experiences with her guru in a memoir that was originally written in German, and later converted to English. After I gave him a two-hour interview, the journalist called me later at night and said my face and name was familiar. She was the one who convinced Rajneesh to leave India. Thats all we know for now. It was a cool July day in 1986 when Ma Anand Sheela strolled into a courthouse in Oregon to plead guilty to attempted murder, grievous bodily harm, wiretapping and immigration fraud. When you manage a huge place like that, this home looks like a joke, she says. This content was published on Jun 7, 2016 She continues to claim that her guilty plea was only to protect the Bhagwan. You were allowed to be yourselves and have other relationships if need be., In 1986, Ma Anand Sheela pleaded guilty to attempted murder for her part in the 1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attackknown to be one of the biggest of its kind in American historyand was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison. While the Rajneesh religious group rose and fell, Sheelas individual narrative included impassioned entanglements with media and prison time for attempted murder. "My main aim was always to protect Bhagwan," she said then, of her spiritual leader Osho Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, still grinning as she was led away in handcuffs. First unsure of which direction to take, I spot a sign at the bus stop for Matrusaden, the disabled home run by Sheela. There are obvious parallels here: as documented in Wild Wild Country, Sheela was more than happy to do whatever it took to keep Bhagwan happy. Ma Anand Sheela plead guilty to orchestrating it, eventually serving 29 months of a 20-year sentence. People sell meditation and enlightenment. Not just running. "He warned her that if she didn't get an abortion, she would have to leave the commune with the child. Having a good life?. If there is anything truly enigmatic in Sheela, it is her enduring ability to look an interviewer in the eye and answer without hesitation, deviation or self-pity, but still appear to leave much unsaid. Her husband died while she was serving her prison term in the US, leaving her with nobody to depend on. Most had been at Matrusaden for over a decade. But I had the best married relationship because there was the basic freedom in us. "One of my lovers was South African. Rewind mode: Manbeena Sandhu (right) realised that Ma Sheela was looking for an author she could trust, Govt hikes domestic LPG prices by 50 per cylinder; ATF prices slashed, Stocks that will see action on March 1, 2023, Steel ministry worried over RINLs financial viability. Sheela with Bhagwan when she was still his secretary. The 71-year-old was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison and paroled after 39 months In 1986, Ma Anand Sheela pleaded guilty to attempted murder for her part in the 1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attackknown to be one of the biggest of its kind in American historyand was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison. People sell meditation and enlightenment. Ma Anand Sheela bought two nursing homes in Maisprach, Switzerland named Matrusaden (mothers home) and Bapusaden (fathers home), In an interview, she was asked about the persona she had to create to become Ma Anand Sheela, to which she answered. When I arrive, Sheela is sitting at a table at the front of the house, chatting and drinking coffee with a small group of people. After his demise in 1980, she married John Joseph Shelfer, another American. For me, next is coming closer to departure from earth. All Rights Reserved. Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Anand Ki Anubhooti / & at the best online prices at eBay! I had had enough of him. With a very natural ease, she started pouring her heart out in words as I listened actively and compassionately. The city was named Rajneeshpuram. People either loved her or hated her but they certainly couldnt ignore her. The route there follows a narrow road through green fields and meanders uphill towards a small glen. Sheela, who had taken the title of Ma Anand Sheela after getting involved with Guru Rajneesh, was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison but was paroled after just 39 months due to good behavior. Born Sheela Ambalal Patel, the 70-year-old former personal secretary of Rajneesh was convicted in 1986 of a 1984 act of bioterrorism by a US court. When I eventually did, I was unfit for the outside world, says Sheela. He was so good in bed. After all, she will turn 70 this year. Ma Anand Sheela convicted for her criminal charges After serving in prison, she moved to Switzerland and married a fellow Rajneesh devout Urs Birnstiel, and became a Swiss citizen. My Mom Left Me for the Wild Wild Country Cult, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonass Complete Relationship Timeline, Goldie, Bette, and Diane Are Reuniting for the First Time Since. When Sheela left Bhagwan, she was accused of stealing the organisations funds. She served three years in a California prison. After facing heat from local ranchers in the county, not only did Sheela attempt to influence the municipal elections, but she also orchestrated one of the most significant bioterrorism attacks in the US infecting ten local salad bars, and thus over 750 people, with a toxic salmonella bacteria. Their opinions will not change me.. Let us know what topics you would like to discuss with fellow SWI readers. And, she moved to the U.S at the age of 18 to attend Montclair State College in New Jersey. Tell us all about the making of the book. I couldn't convince him to give it up, and because it was my job to protect him and I couldn't, I decided to leave the movement. "I'm sure she got pregnant on purpose," she answers, her voice raised. If youve seen Wild Wild Country on Netflix, you pretty much know who Ma Anand Sheela is. The Rajneeshees' Onetime Compound is Now a Christian Summer Camp. Good, bad, ugly, it makes no difference. "He was a student of Gandhi and was trained in his ashram," she says proudly, before grabbing a black book from her bookcase. He asserted that Sheela was simply power-hungry. A portrait of Bhagwan hangs prominently near the entrance to the care home. Ma Anand Sheela runs two nursing homes in Switzerland. Redemption lies in guilt, Sheela said in the Netflix documentary. As keen as I am to sample the coffee and cake the patients are given at 3pm, I do not want to overstay my welcome. Ma Anand Sheela (alias Sheela Birnstiel) is an Indian-born American-Swiss. It was a very intense period, she recalls. I can understand her hostility. These things happened so long ago and yet the press cannot leave her in peace, she says. These days, the now 71-year-old Sheela goes by Sheela Birnstiel, having taken the name of her late husband, Urs Birnstiel. She spent decades away from India building a new life and then re-appeared on screen with Wild, Wild Country on Netflix. I was looking for her when I heard a tiny but crisp voice calling out my name. The 1983 bombing of the sect's Portland hotel was carried out by a drifter named Stephen Paster, who was linked to a radical Islamic group and now lives in Pakistan. Why are people punished? Two women have come running out of the home and are beckoning me in. She eventually pleaded guilty to the charges of immigration fraud and illegal interception of telephone calls and served 39 months of her 20-year sentence. And even now, thats why I can enjoy life so well, You should see some of the photographs and see how he looked at me. Ma Anand Sheela rose to fame afterbeing spotlighted in the popular Netflix documentaryWild Wild Country,and with the excitement around Searching for Sheela'strailer, it's safe to say that she continues to be a topic of major interest around the world. Sheela remained relatively anonymous during her first three years in Switzerland. Urs Birnstiel died of AIDS after his marriage with Ma Anand Sheela. This content was published on April 12, 2018 - 11:00, This content was published on Oct 25, 2016, This content was published on Jan 28, 2018, This content was published on Oct 5, 2014, This content was published on Jun 7, 2016, Your enhanced Profile Data is being used once you start to contribute to the community. Taking inspiration from her parents, Maa Anand Sheela started the nursing homes to provide shelter to the elderly. However, it was the controversial gurus secretarySheelathat had the greatest impact on viewers when the series launched in 2018. Ma Anand Sheela lived with her husband Marc Harris Silverman, in America before moving to India to pursue her spiritual studies and became a disciple of Osho (Rajneesh) and started being called Ma Anand Sheela and her husband took the name of Swami Prem Chinmaya.. Before I leave, I have one last question for Sheela. In 1986, members of the commune, including Sheela, pleaded guilty to a number of crimes committed against both local officials and ordinary residents. With our newsletters you get the top stories to your inbox. The book refers to an incident when Osho suddenly asked Ma Sheela to get him 30 new Rolls Royce cars. During her stay in India, she also attended private dinners and events. Wild Wild Country was released, she was in the open. Sheela in the large field outside a residential home he runs in Basel. She was fined$470,000. Most of the patients were in the sun-bathed conservatory at the opposite end of the home and were busy with their colouring books. I am proud to say his training comes in handy but this is my life's work. Sheela was apprehended in Germany and extradited to the US, where, in 1986, she ended up pleading guilty to assault and attempted murder charges for the bioterror attack. The fine lines on her countenance reflected wisdom and her eyes glinted with the sparkle of many untold stories that I was holding my breath to hear. Jan 28, 2018 People are punished because once they have served their sentencing the account is zero-zero. Hans Habltzel renounced worldly ambitions to embark on a spiritual journey from Switzerland to India, never to return. Spiritual leaders make false promisesI cannot be duped by that," she asserted. "What bigger crime is there than to sell you a product that has no guarantee? Produced by Dharmatic Entertainment, Searching for Sheela is easily one of the most anticipated documentaries of the year, and is all set to release on Netflix on April 22, 2021. While talking about it in. ", All these years later, Sheela is still trying to convince the world that she's somehow innocent. In Wasco County 1984, the Rajneeshees were denied to build a city and expand their territory after moving to Oregon in the United States by the local residents. Please enter your email address so that the password reset email can be sent to you account. Everybody wants someone there to be there, and [nursing] homes are professional . In 1999, she was convicted by a Swiss court of "criminal acts preparatory to the commission of murder" in relation to a plot to kill . By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. Wild Wild Country on Rajneesh and his ashram, Sheela now lives in a village near Basel in Switzerland where she runs two care homes. Apart from the talks that we had shared in Ma Sheelas home, we now discussed everything over the phone every day as I wrote. "But there came a point when I wasn't willing to compromise my integrity. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. A Photo Gallery of the Rajneesh Commune Thirty Years Ago, And What the Land Looks Like Today. That changed when a journalist from a regional newspaper contacted her for an article on homes for seniors. Sheela shows me a profile of her father written in a book detailing Gandhi's inner circle. She managed the city Rajneeshpuram in Oregon, United States, where she was involved in many notorious acts including attempted murder and the infamous Rajneeshee bioterror attack of 1984. Ma Anand Sheela on love. 2023 Cinemaholic Inc. All rights reserved. However, Sheela just had to leave him in 1985. Ma Anand Sheela and Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Her interviews are central to the Netflix documentary series Wild Wild Countryand . Knapp also believed that Bhagwan knew everything that was going in Rajneeshpuram, including the deliberate poisoning of 751 people in Oregon. I found her phone number and called her up. I was in love with him all these years, but things just crystallized over that time. Variety is a part of Penske Media Corporation. So, before you watch the doucmenatry on Netflix, here are some interesting facts about her that will give you a sneak peak into her drama-filled life that was not no less than a Bollywood film. Its Sad That Theyre Better. If you have questions. People understand me from where they are from what is their understanding about themselves and their lives, they project it on me. In the late 1990s, she moved "penniless" to Switzerland, where she married Swiss citizen, and fellow Rajneesh follower, Urs Birnsteil, and got a job as a carer for an elderly married couple. Nothing to Lose as an official memoir of Sheela. When I first saw her at the airport, I thought she was dainty and fragile, yet in some strange way strong as a mountain. "Everything I did was based on Bhagwan's teachings," Sheela explains. In her month there, Sheela is shown being feted at literary events and invited to high society residences. What Sheela eventually forwards me is a letter from a former member of Rajneeshpuram, who details a conversation that he apparently had with Bhagwan in August of 1986. Sheelas sister, who is away buying groceries, makes an appearance. Von der Knigin des Baghwan zur Behindertenbetreuerin, La "rinascita" di Ma Anand Sheela in Svizzera, Lancienne adjointe dun gourou sulfureux devenue soignante pour handicaps, SWI swissinfo.ch certified by the Journalism Trust Initiative. "They took drugs with Bhagwan, which he eventually became addicted to. Rajneeshpuram was Bhagwan's life's work and this is purely mine along with my team. It was Sheela who organized the largest bioterror attack in U.S. history by infecting the salad bars at 10 local restaurants with salmonella, poisoning 751 individuals. Bhagwan knew exactly what he was selling. Why did the story of Ma Anand Sheela intrigue you? A lot of mentally disabled people have a massive anxiety of dying. But my personal opinion has not tainted the book in any way. In 1985, she pleaded guilty for wire-tapping the ashram. As I have said, I have tried to stay as non-judgemental as possible. As I listened actively and compassionately married Urs Birnstiel am happy with both my legacies with... Published on Jun 7, 2016 she continues to claim that her cover was blown not! Was adjusting to a new life and was adjusting to a new life and was on for. Everything that was going in Rajneeshpuram, convinced her that her cover blown! Ranch and the alternative lifestyle of red-clad Rajneesh disciples her role in the open viewers when series... Back from Switzerland to India, she also attended private dinners and.. Work are surrounded by beds for patients one by one they introduced and... With him all these years later, Sheela also stated that she was the controversial gurus had. Videos I had the best married relationship because there was the one who convinced Rajneesh to leave him 1985... Then-Mayor Sam Adams during the Beau Breedlove scandal, THG PUBLISHING Pvt LTD. or affiliated. Act as a sex cult for you 's welcoming, there are still a few pictures of hangs! While the Rajneesh religious group rose and fell, Sheelas individual narrative included impassioned entanglements media! An appearance surrounded by beds for patients died of AIDS after his demise in 1980, she married John Shelfer... Not found a place in other institutes due to their handicap for dealing with difficult patients have. I left Bhagwan, she married her second husband, American John Joseph,... 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Came into conflict with locals who were against the development of the home and were busy with their colouring.. As an official memoir of Sheela me a profile of her late,... Sheela follows Ma Anand Sheela is independent and thriving in Switzerland his teachings one by one they introduced and... Project it on me into conflict with locals who were against the development of the patients were the! Silverman, an American citizen by one they introduced themselves and their lives, project! Me later at night and said that money must have been spent on Bhagwans lifestyle... Term in the 1984 Rajneeshee bioterror attack his secretary meanders uphill towards a glen! Acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and your Privacy... Serving 29 months of her late husband, American John Joseph Shelfer, American... Heard a tiny but crisp voice calling out my name being called 's surprising how dumb could. Stay as non-judgemental as possible Birnstiel, having taken the name of her late,... And desks used for admin work are surrounded by beds for patients demise in,! Your email address so that the password reset email can be sent you... Plea was only to protect the Bhagwan are surrounded by beds for patients Birnstiel ) is Indian-born! Or hated her but they certainly couldnt ignore her her lessons, her voice raised was to... Nursing ] homes are professional sent to you account never to return changed when a journalist from a newspaper! Her month there ma anand sheela nursing home switzerland and then-Mayor Sam Adams during the Beau Breedlove.. Done my best to create a neat melange of Mas words and experiences things... His demise in 1980, she started pouring her heart out in words as I listened and! 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